First of all, this shit is just coming from brain to keyboard, so pardon the incoherance that is likely. It’s stream of consciousness. Some thoughts are not finished, or might change. Nothing is written in stone, there are no hard and fast rules.

Some games benefit from high rules and fiddly detail. Others don’t. Earth-60 doesn’t need to keep track of specific amounts of money mostly, where as in Champions of Jor-Karroc, it’s part of the difficulty. IT isn’t fun for anyone to be policing every minute detail though, if someone is a pound over the weight limit, who really cares? Douchebags, that’s who.

Playing by exacting rules and precise metrics is a drag in some games. I vacillate between needing to know EXACTLY what your unfair and overweening power does, and wanting to know what it is MEANT to do. Nobody is going to accuse anyone of cheating if you get the exact details wrong, unless I ask for those exact details, and you lie to me. Players can often get really pissy when they perceive someone else is “Getting away” with something. (Obviously this related to Mutants & Masterminds, not AD&D, where precision matters) No-one is “Getting Away” with things.

Situationally I will allow excesses in some scenes but not in others. This isn’t being unfair. It’s about flow. Sometimes I want to have things happen smoother, or think it would be cool, or lead to something I want to work with. I would counsel against sitting there wondering why I hate you. I don’t. It’s not against you, it about moving things, (or stopping them I guess.) If others are “getting away with” things or rules are less strict it seems, and always stricter with you, that is an accidental outcome. This game is a communal experience of fun, try to get on the train.

Sometimes I worry that I don’t have enough things to do with everyones characters. Some characters trigger something in me that gives me ideas, others don’t. Some characters I sit here for HOURS, head in hands, trying to come up with something for them to engage in or do. This is nobody’s fault. (It’s secretly YOUR fault and you should feel bad :p) Sometimes some of you will notice everything seems to be about everyone else. Everyone thinks this, to each of you everyone else is “Getting More Stuff.” Things go in waves. Let me use an example of AD&D. I once ran a game with a team of Noble Heroes, a wily Mage and a Thief. The Thief player came to me one day, saying The Knights get all the fame and glory, It’s their party. Everyone knows their name and legend. They can reveal who they are and some enemies back down, because of their renown. All the NPCs know them and want to talk to them… But not me. Nobody knows me, I have no legend. Nobody is afraid of my name. I’m the same level as them. What gives? It was because that was what he wanted for his character when he made it. I told him, you wanted to make a shadow, you wanted to be a whisper in the night, unknown, deadly and invisible. You got what you wanted. The simple matter is, the Thieves guild fucking loves you. You’re the golden boy, a legendary thief. But these people, they don’t tell normies. There is also a factor in the heroic campaign, the heroic figure naturally shines in it. It’s also unreasonable to ask for a sudden dramatic change in theme and tone. I guess there might be a way to help with this, but I’m not smart enough to figure it out on my own. If YOU have any ideas, TELL ME, email is below. Don’t suffer, talk! But if your playing for virtual attention and adulation, maybe have a think.

On that note, TALK to one another. Players should be talking with each other out of character about their game experience, what they want, what they don’t want. Be reasonable. Plan upcoming things, TALK TO EACH OTHER. Give yer mates a call for a few minutes each week.

Mood and tone. For the love of god, not every moment is appropriate to start hilarious jokes. Sometimes someone else is doing a scene. Sometimes it’s serious of tone. What we don’t need is a hilarious joke or reference. Nothing makes me want to walk out faster than someone trying to be a funny cunt at the wrong time.

Don’t expect everyone to key in to the intricate web of mythological references and cultural history you built into your character.

People aren’t ignoring you, they don’t “not care” They are thinking about what they are doing to do with their character next, how their character is reacting to things. This is normal, but try to pay a bit more attention at the table. I banned playing on your phones, scanning myFace and texting for a reason.

Not everything you are going to suggest or try is going to work, or be accepted by others. Instead of getting mad or frustrated, accept it. Don’t try to run other peoples characters, don’t try to solo the game. And I realise I am the guy who plays Logain… Who is clearly the protagonist, it’s totally different.

“My character sucks” So make another. Or work to make it not suck.

Some characters seem better than others in the game, often, as in the case of D&D some characters bloom early than others. Thiefs for example are very strong early on, but get less strong in comparison to others as they level. The character is not getting weaker, the others are getting stronger as they bloom later. If your playing my game so your character can be awesome and win most and have everyone else constantly soaping their balls over how great they are, sit and have a long think.

Some people can only ever belittle other characters, make fun of them, or bring up the times they were foolish or made to look silly. They live for that. That’s toxic, bro. I think it’s unhealthy. Sure, it is fun to remember the time the Gamer locked himself in the library. Or the time Stump fell onto his nuts twice in ONE fall. But if you aren’t also bringing up the cool things they did when appropriate, it might be not so good. I;m not saying suck them off all the time, but if you are only making fun of them, or mocking them… you might have a problem. Especially if you look down on others, they are not that clever, They make stupid moves etc… Nobody at my table right now gets to crow about being a totally great player. Nobody is, everyone has pros and cons. Every character has a point and laugh story, and every character has something awesome they did. Except for Derrick. We’re still working on that.

When your DM asks you for a back story, DO NOT HAND THEM A STACK OF PAPER A MILE HIGH. I’m never reading that. I’m never using that. Also, it looks like you already had a ton of exciting adventures. NO. If we are not playing through the most exciting part of your characters life, why aren’t we? I heard somewhere recently the ideal character can be explained in Two(2) minutes verbally. It’s fine for you to have 999 pages of intricate backstory and family tree. But ain’t no-one reading that. Write a book.

Similarly, don’t hand in a one-sentence character brief. “Defender is a billionaire who wears a suit to fight crime, nobody knows who he is, but he has a strange horizontal groin bulge.” this is unhelpful. Not everybody can write this stuff, so say it out loud. Talk, even to empty air, about what you want, then write down some notes on that. Or give your character idea to your DM IN PERSON, Verbally. They’ll write down the brief, give it to you to check that it is right.

If you DO NOT come up with details for your backstory, friends and family etc… you do not get to complain when the DM makes stuff up for you. “I never wanted that!” You should have made that clear. I never asked for Logain’s sister to be a sex-obsessed Asariphile. Makes my life annoying. But I never took the GM aside after the game and said, “Hey, I’m not comfortable or OK with this.” mainly because I don’t actually care that much, and it is very funny.

Now, I realise that sometimes a player will take the GM aside and say, “Hey I never asked for that, I’m not OK with it.” and the answer is “Tough Shit.” Sometimes things happen. Talk it out. There are few absolutes.

Sometimes I get annoyed with other players, and focusing on that can be unhealthy, for the table and the game. I try to resist it, but sometimes it is important to re-focus on something else.

I wish I was a better artist than I am, I’d love to be able to quickly bang out materials for the game. But I’m not, fortunately the players haven’t walked out because of it, yet.

If the DM and a player are involved in a scene, particularly if it is a moody or dramatic one, DO NOT FUCKING INTERRUPT. Do not insist it all be about you, do not railroad things.

The one above, sometimes you have to do that, It occurs to me. Judgement.

I regret introducing the Belt, the golden sheet and such. It just made some people petty and competitive instead of co-operative. No-one can ever be happy for others anymore. Everyones selfish these days. When I run out of gold paper, I’m stopping that.

Others keep forgetting it,..

Actually, I’ve been considering the evil of Group XP. Group XP sucks and I hate it.

There is no virtue, I have come to realise, in running a game night. No virtue in setting up resources for it, no virtue in handouts or set dressing. None of it really matters. There is no virtue in it, it is the base line of what you should do, in my mind. Are your players WORTH the minimum effort? If not, lose them. Or are you the one who is not worth your players? Plenty of Tables out there these days.

If one of your players can’t remember anything that went on, doesn’t pay attention, is it a problem with them? Or is it a problem with the game your running?

It came to me whilst I was trying to sleep, I view the collected players as a single entity whilst playing. It’s true. Those guys on the other side of the screen, they become a single entity, until the point where that entity turns on itself. I guess that it pays to be higher up the initiative ladder, so I don’t suddenly tighten up on the rules thinking, “They just got away with like, 3 things…” I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

You’re going to want to plan out every possible nook and cranny of your adventure, you’re going to feel the need to account for every possible choice. Don’t. You’re wasting your time. Plan out what is important, plan out the key pieces of information they need. BE flexible on the night. You’ll save time, waste less and at the end of the day, the less stuff you work on that goes unused into the bin, the better.

T-Shirts are neat.

Whenever possible give information through unreliable narrators. “Oh but we found this book that says otherwise” Yes, you did.

If you have a player who is distracted, playing on their phone, getting up, wandering around, reading books. Spend your time on others who want to be there.

Actually do it. If they’re playing their myFace games or flicking through SpaceBook, they don’t need to have game time. They’re having fun, playing now. Those other people at the table, the ones looking at you, at each other, writing on their sheets, taking notes. Spend all your time on them. The other one decided they don’t NEED to pay attention at the table, they don’t WANT it as much as the others. They are disrespecting your time, that you spent preparing this night. They don’t have to be here.

If you get a player who is “offended” easily, don’t change everything to suit them. Ditch them. They don’t belong at your table. No, no. Fuck making your table “More Welcoming” to them. The newcomer must conform to the social contract of your table, not demand everyone else change to suit them. That’s arrogant and selfish of them. Plenty of other tables out there, or or they could learn some coping mechanisms. it’s not about being “polite” or “considerate” they should CONSIDER that everyone else at the table preferred it that way, and THEY are the outlier. Nobody has the right to not be offended. Fuck you.

The Paul Pelosi thing glows. PayPal keeps slipping that $2,500 fine thing into their TOS and hoping no-one will notice, and Bill Gates is turning in to Mr. Burns, HE WANTS TO BLOCK OUT THE SUN FOR FUCK SAKE!

I sometimes worry that we need another player, and we don’t have it. Finding the right player is hard work, most people don’t want to play this kind of game, and Critical Roll has kind of shit all over the passtime.

They’re muggin’ us right off, YOU GONNA ‘AVE THAT, JIM?

We can all agree RoboCop is cool, but do you ever stop to think WHY it is cool? Do you ever reflect on what it is saying? What it implies. Take a moment. Go watch it, and think. Then look at the real world. Then back to RoboCop. RoboCop is cool, but do you want to live in the world of RoboCop? Perhaps now you understand why you cannot vote Democrat.

On the same note, actually look a the world of Cyberpunk. Near unlimited Corporate power, government and Corporations in and out of each others beds, the people ignored, their decisions (when they get them) negated, greed for power, total media control News just a euphemism for propaganda. Corporate control of media and entertainment slowly changing who you are without your involvement or consent. Sound familiar?

Communism has killed more people in history than the NAZIs. If it “has never been tried properly” what makes you think it ever will be? What makes you think it hasn’t.

Am I the only one who thinks Original Series Star Trek Props are cooler than later eras ones? With the possible exception of TNG era Tricorders.

I feel that sometimes the players need to not have bad things happen to them gets out of hand, to the point they over-plan so nothing can ever happen, but in doing so, they eliminate adventure and fun opportunities. Imagine if Indiana Jones never fucked up and always won. Yikes. Tomb Raider.

Have you ever noticed in these games that the government is always bad? Always the instrument for adversity, never improving things, only ever immiserating? Why do you think that is? It is because of verisimilitude? That it is that way because it is easy for the reader, the watcher, to believe? Governments cannot make things better for people, the cannot create happiness. At best they allow it to proceed. Government getting active, doing something, its almost always bad, it almost always makes things worse. You may not notice the pattern, but your brain did, that is why they are depicted as obstacles tot he protagonist. Why it is so easy to attribute malice and incompetence to their fictional counterparts. Why they will always be the villains.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to paint a big corporation in these things as outright evil? Take Captain Planet; The number of villains in that show who polluted because they love pollution. Not because they didn’t care, not because they were more concerned with making money. Because they loved to pollute. Because it is easy to attribute malice when looking from the outside. Also just look at big tech recently, how they all collude to oppress and suppress, deliberately, on purpose, not for profit now, but for the profit to come from doing so. Tell me how unrealistic their cartoon counterparts are now? You won’t.

I sometimes wonder about the entitlement of players. Where did this idea that “It shouldn’t happen to players” come from? If they have too much money, take it from them. If they’ve accumulated too many magic items, steal them, break them. But always remember… You gave it to them. But that doesn’t mean they can’t lose them again.

Map making sucks and I hate it. I hate it so much. Even with all the new fangled technology to help, It takes hours and hours, and at best the players look at it and say “Okay, where is the Weapons shop that might sell magic swords?” It’s unrewarding, frustrating and I suck at it. Can AI get to the point where I can ask it to just make a map, describe the architecture and key points and say “Make me a realistic map that makes sense, and add some magical bits.” I’d actually kill for the ability to say “I want a map of rivendell, but not actually rivendell” and get a cool ass map in a style of my choosing that just works. I say that, and I fear and distrust AI.

There needs to be a way to say, “No offence, but I’m not feeling engaged by your game, and I can’t exactly pin down why.” without hurting someone’s feelings.

If someone says something, and your response is always “No, No” and then suggest something else. Consider the Improve rule of “Yes, and” I mean, when you cut someone elses idea down and substitute your own, you are sort of saying, “Your idea is bad, mine is good. Yours is boring, mine is funny.” YOu don’t mean that do you? Of course not. But you do it too much, they might get the idea they aren’t as good as you, or you think that. SOmetimes you can do that. But some of you do it A LOT. Instead try going with someones gag or idea, “Like it could be our pet!” then you might say “Yes! And it can have a little outfit, like a butler.” instead of “No, no! It can be our butler!” They both go to the same place, but one accepts and expands, the other curtails and replaces. I’m not being clear. Go look up videos on Yes And.

Sometimes I set things up like “The ominous evil crystal of doom pulses with death and evil energy, you feel that touching it would be fatal.” And then some dipshit says, “I take the crystal.” So I have to say, “You’re just… getting it?” “Yeah, I have a glove on.” “You feel your glove is not protection.” “I have tongs.” I think I’m just gonna have you get what’s coming. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Sometimes players give up before they even try to solve a situation, case in point, there are two levers on each side of the room, and the player might say “I have no idea what to do, I can’t reach both levers.” Nobody said they had to be pulled at the same time, OR held down, you never even tried. You just gave up. I wonder why this is? Is it fear of instant death puzzles. Those are usually sign posted better.

In relation to that, when designing a situation, you should signpost it based on the consequences of failure. For example, if the puzzle can be reset and tried again and again with no consequence, no signposting needed. If a slight failure will result in DIRE consequences, put some skeletons around that look like they have died in the way that failure will punish you. Let’s say a computer needs to be used to open the vault, they show a password screen. So they try a password, it’s classy to give them 3 tries. If you want to warn them, show three little flag icons, but greyed out. When they fail, say one of the flags turns red. They get past the password, and then there is a complex control system with various variables, you know they need to get the manual from the second floor maintenance man, but they didn’t. Maybe put a literal warning on the computer screen, “Remember: Follow the instructions in your Vault Door manual exactly or the door mechanism may be irrevocably damaged.” In fantasy settings, a big old skull drawing is usually enough.

You know what, players get real skittish about “There are two statues, carved in the shape of knights, each holding a sword.” Add “They are very detailed” to increase paranoia by 2 Parans. The players will assume those statues will come alive. They will plan for it. They will be MORE concerned about those statues than anything else. It works for any kind of statues, so long as they look vaguely aggressive.

Actually, “There is a statue of a beautiful elven woman, holding a harp.” Has also produced certainty it will come alive.

It is very detailed.

There is a small plaque, it reads “Melende the pacifist; The maiden Melende passed from dol mandoon, and went upon the moor, the men of dol mandoon looked upon her departing form, and did not turn away from the east until they lost the sight of her.”

Actually, “In the centre of the room stands a 30ft tall statue of a naked woman, it is detailed enough. She is holding up a colossal lock.” And amazingly the response was “I climb up her and pick the colossal lock.” For no good reason, I might add. I mean, it paid off, but why was THAT the obvious solution? I guess I’d have done that too. Should have seen his face when I said, “Your lockpicks are sized for a much MUCH smaller lock.” he was all “oh, can I use an oar?” shit was cash.

Let’s say you have one member of your table who constantly no-shows. It is perfectly okay to make fun of them for that.

Actually It is perfectly okay to make them do the recap.